I went to Mexico for the week and left my beautiful sweet and loving 3yo Lazuli (a tiny little linnie) with my mom, who had babysat her manymany times before. Lazuli was my world. I got her after I lost my grandmother and got out of a 5 year relationship. We bonded. She trusted me. I brought her everywhere I could. She flew to my bed in the morning to cuddle. She came to me in the evening for hour long scritches. We ate together. Sometimes went on little walks in her transport cage. I swear to god this bird saved me from depression. She gave joy to my life. Just found out this afternoon that she died yesterday drowning in the toilet. My mom had left the house and forgot to close the door to the bathroom. Idk how this happened. She tends to lay eggs at my parent’s so maybe she felt off balance? Idk. But tbh I never insisted on bird proofing spaces. At my apartment she never goes anywhere near the bathroom and there is no fan. The furniture is either too close to the wall to fall in or too far to get stuff. At my parent’s she never had an issue. I feel guilty. I should have checked and insisted on her safety more. There is no way my poorpoor loving sweetheart of a bird deserved to die alone and in panic like this. I don’t think im dishonoring her memory by feeling guilty. I just wish this hadn’t happened. I wish she were here

Three weeks ago I accidentally stepped on my perfect little parrotlet named Sully and he died a few moments later in my hand. I was sitting at my kitchen counter eating lunch and working on my laptop, and distractedly got down from my stool to let my dog outside and Sully was right under my foot. I’m absolutely crippled with guilt and regret over that one moment that cost my baby his beautiful life- I can’t believe that I’m the reason he’s gone when I would’ve done anything to keep him safe and healthy and happy. My husband had found Sully as a stray in a parking lot almost 3 years ago and he’s been such a huge source of love and light in our house ever since. The moment I’d wake up in the morning he’d hear my movements from downstairs and start chirping excitedly, and he wouldn’t leave my side until he went to bed at sundown, following me from room to room like a little drone, or getting rides on my head or my shoulder wherever I went. I’d sing little made-up songs to him as he perched on my shower door while I was doing my makeup, he waited patiently on my nightstand while I meditated every day, he’d be present for every breakfast or lunch to steal nibbles from my plate. I took him on little family vacations and bought him a tent so he could join park days and feel the breeze. I didn’t keep him in a cage because he loved flying around so much and being part of the household, sunning himself on windowsills and sleeping in our living room light fixture. He never once tried to get outside or fly away- he felt so safe and cared for in our home. I’ve dealt with grief before but somehow this is harder than anything I’ve ever felt, knowing that such a precious soul was in my care and it’s my fault that he’s gone now. I can’t believe that I failed to keep him safe when he trusted me implicitly. I just hope he knew how much he means to me, and that I’d do anything to take back that moment and keep him with me for as long as I can. I will love you forever, my sweet Sullyboo 🩵

I am thankful for these comments. My Buddy Boy passed December 5th 2025. He was 28. I am feeling such guilt for his passing. I kept telling myself he was doing better. I had planned to take him to Vet Friday morning but decided to wait til Monday. I had just started a job and was on my way out. Stopped and spoke to Bud and gave him a cracker which he ate. He had been sitting at bottom of the cage and now I know that is a sign. Why didnt I take him right away? I went to work. Two hours later my husband called me to say Buddy had passed. He said he was stumbling a little so he went over and petted him but then he just fell over and passed. I came right home. My husband had him wrapped in a little blanket. I just sat and held him and cried and cried. I feel so bad I wasn’t home holding him when he passed. I hate I wasn’t there for him. What if he wondered where I was. I’m just heartbroken. He had been with me since he was 8 weeks old. I love him❤

I lost my little bubba Charlie last night. Tiny little thing. Completely my fault. I still don’t know what happened, I must have squeezed him or something. I was holding him and went to open a door to let someone in and then he was just dead in my hand. In two minutes absolute tops. I’m beyond devastated as it should not have happened and, though I do not understand it, I obviously did something as he was perfectly fine. I’ve been an absolute mess. The guilt is f***ing awful. I have a lot of empathy for the other commenters here and I understand the hideous feeling we are all dealing with. What to do about it, though, can’t help there. That’s why I’m here.

I just lost my cockatiel Hugs of 19ish maybe 20 years. I can’t quite remember when he came into my life. I believe 2006, but I dont know how old he was then. He was my baby, and over the last month even after doing a vet visit, he wasn’t improving and just slowed down , stopped eating and passed away yesterday. He died in my hands, I feel awful and I don’t know what caused it yet, the vet will be checking his body after the holidays, but his physical had been great for such an old bird. There were now worries and we had given him orbax.

I just lost my baby 48 hours ago. Swazi is a Cockatiel. I got her 12 years ago as a baby. We picked her before she was weaned. As soon as she was ready to go we took her home and before we knew it her and our green check Bushy were best of friends! They would sleep apart but spend all day together outside of their cages. Eventually their bond grew so strong Bushy would open the cages so they could cuddle together on the perches. We Eventually upgraded their cages to one big one and housed them together. Just this week Swazi got hurt and passed later on that day. I believe she fell from her perch it was slanted downward. The heartbreak is so deep. I have been crying so much. I found her feathers from her first molt and holding them feels like holding my baby. But I miss her, I miss her whistling and grumpy bird noises. I am now worried for my Green cheek. I have noticed her looking for her sister and I don’t know what to do. I did let her briefly look at her sister before taking her to get cremated. But I think the routine of preening sessions and snuggles is what is making her miss her sister’s absence.

My 8year old Canary came to an abrupt death. I always let him explore out of his cage and he got much more confidence week by well, he loved exploring the house. Happy little soul called Buddy. We also have a dog who is old and can’t see or hear well now and last week Buddy sat on the cushion next to me the dog jumped up onto the cushion where the Buddy fell down the back of the cushion and I think the weight of the small dog caused a heart attack or something he made 3little chirps and died in my hands pretty soon afterwards. He was a very loved pet. I feel responsible for his death as I should have seen it coming and made him fly off but didn’t act soon enough. It is very hard to move on from this but I guess it takes time.

My beautiful green cheek, Conyer pineapple. He was only a year old. He was such a smart, loving bird. All he wanted to do was be with me one day it came home and found that he hurt his leg. I brought him to the vet. They did x-rays, and said there was no brakes. There was no fractures that he was a healthy bird. They must’ve sprained his leg. I didn’t explain much when I picked him up after hours. They only gave me his medication which was a pain medication with a syringe. I didn’t understand and I read the medication wrong and I gave him too much three different times they gave his medication and I thought I was actually lowering his dose trying to give him less so I can wean him off, but I wound up giving him too much. Went to his cage to check on him and found him dead I’m completely heartbroken. I can’t stop feeling this overwhelming guilt and my baby bird would still be alive and I not screwed up. I miss him so much.

It’s now 1 year to the day that I lost Gizmo My cockatiel. He was 5 years old. He developed kidney issues at around 4 years old and needed allopurinol doses every day just to stop him wasting away. I tried my best with diet but he was a fussy eater and only wanted pellets, broccoli and carrot. I’ve always felt guilty that I didn’t try harder with getting him to eat a more varied diet and because he passed away while I was on holiday and was absent for the last 10 days of his life. What’s always hurt more is the avian vet was baffled in that his weight was good again and although he couldn’t fly after getting sick his balance and mobility were really good at the time he passed. We didn’t have a necropsy done as I didn’t want him cut up and as we didn’t have other birds it seemed best to lay him to rest and have him cremated. I also feel guilt about how soon it was before I got another bird (a Hahns macaw 3 weeks after Gizmo passed). Our house was too quiet and my wife and I decided we were missing a bird in the family. This time I’ve changed the pellet brand and I prepare chop every month to be frozen made with different green vegetables, root veggies and sprouted seeds. Not quite seasonal feeding system but I’ve taken diet a lot more seriously this time and Charlie my hahns is doing great health wise. I try to take comfort from fact Gizmo was with family when he passed and he had 5 good years going everywhere with us and being a proper member of the family. The only time he stayed at home was when we were out of the UK on holiday

I am overwhelmed with grief and guilt for losing my beautiful girl parakeet. I knew my birds were probably deficient in vitamins because they are picky eaters and I am not sure if supplements like drops really work. My bird became egg bound from a misshapen egg. She was given a prescription of liquid calcium to take home from the vet but the vet did not give me any information on how to administer it safely. I thought I could manage this and I didn’t check on google. It seems like common sense to not do what I did. I choked her with the medication and she aspirated on it and died 12 hours later in my hands. The look she had when she was dieing has me in bits. She looked sad and scared and my heart is crushed. This was preventable. She was such a happy and mostly healthy bird, I just needed to work on her diet to get more vitamins in her. I love her so much. I am so sorry.

I lost my sweet Onyx yesterday. I always have had free zebra finches in my room. My stupid long hair got caught around his foot. I caught him and cut some off, but I’m so bad and wimpy at catching him he probably hurt his little foot more..maybe I tightened the hair..I was so wimpy holding him. When I got back from a trip he was on my floor, with blood everywhere and a very very swollen foot… Now Saxon seems to be looking for him. 💔 I should have just taken him to the vet (kept telling myself I’m too broke..I could have used a credit card I guess) as soon as I saw the hair around his foot- just in his cage and not try to catch him so he wouldn’t bang it up more over 2 weeks. I waited too long. I will do better for my next friend and learn from my mistakes. I know there’s birds out there who need love and seeds. ❤️ I’ll miss your song Onyx.

My little conure Kiwi was only a baby and I feel so awful. There was a number of things wrong with him but they were mainly triggered by a fall he had where it was my fault, and he deteriorated after that. When I took him to the vet she said the best option was to put him down, and I know it was the kindest option, but I still feel like there was maybe something I could have done to help him. I know she was the expert but I don’t think I explained to her properly that he was just a very low energy bird so I think she saw that as a major sign of bad health. I don’t know, I just think maybe there was more hope for him and maybe I should have asked more, but I was just so distraught and I didn’t want him to be in pain and suffer. I just don’t know if I did the right thing. I feel so bad because he was just a baby and my other birds miss him so much. He was such a good little bird

My peach face died a few hours ago. It was my fault. Her cage door was open and I forgot to close it before going out. The cage door somehow fell down on her head/ neck and trapped her. I wasn’t out for long. She was still warm when I found her. I am so sad. I can’t believe what I have caused. I feel so much guilt.

I have 4 love birds and one of them died today because of me his name was Rio he was the naughtiest of all, playing around all the time. He was my favourite little bird. I usually turn the fan off when he is in my room but today I didn’t, I was studying and I don’t know why I didn’t turn the fan off my Rio died in my hand because of me. He trusted me, he treated me like his mother. He was the best. I am so sorry rio so sorry I don’t deserve to be your mother. I am very very sorry. I am sorry I love you so much please forgive me

My blue gold macaw passed away in 2024, he was 10 years old and I did bring him to the vet for a check up, Charlie was my best bird I ever had and had a strong connection with him, I loved him so much, but unfortunately in 2024 I went threw a mental breakdown it was very bad and I quit my job because of it also, since I was going threw this hard time mentally and I was scared and my mind wasn’t all there being sad depressed, I was taking care of Charlie as usual feeding and water, but I started to get worse and didn’t even think of asking my mom to help me, unfortunately Charlie starved to death 💔 😢 😔 😞 He didn’t deserve that 💔 I still blame myself for his death, I know I wasn’t well but I still should have asked for help, it’s been very painful and hard for me, I still get mad at myself for it, I know accidents and mistakes happen but I still feel disgusted by myself, he was my feather baby and he meant so much to me, now I never want to get birds or animals anymore cause it’s been so painful and I can’t handle it anymore 💔 I’ve had to rehome some of my animals that I didn’t want to get rid of but I had no choice and still breaks my heart to this day, please cherish your animal babies because they obviously won’t be around forever and to give them the best life you can give them, this was not easy for me to talk about this, and being very honest to of course cause it’s not easy but I know it’s good to talk about this stuff and get it out, I love you Charlie so much, we did have some good times, may you rest in piece 💔 😭🦜🌈🪦⚱️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💙🩵💚💛💙🩵💚💛💙🩵💚💛💙🩵💚💛💙🩵💚💛❤️❤️

i just lost my 6 year old parrot, and i cannot stop crying. i feel so horrible, i have never lost a pet like this before. these past days i was noticing strange behavior from her, (named Chicle.) she seemed more tired, sluggish, and would often doze off. i was ignorant, and kept telling myself ‘oh, she’s just tired.’ this morning, i had let her cage door open so if she wished, she could come out as usual. but this morning, she did not want to leave, which was strange. i tried to pick her up to help her out, but she still refused. i let her be. i usually work on my laptop right next to her cage, so i hear the sounds of wings flapping rapidly. confused, i look over and see my poor baby on the floor, seizing. i was so so surprised, and i quickly run over to pick her up. i could feel her heartbeat slow and she passed away in my hands. i don’t know what happened. i was ignorant, and this is all my fault. if only i booked an appointment with the vet sooner. i just hope she wasn’t afraid when she was passing, i hope she felt safe in her last moments. I had my mom help me bury her. We both struggled saying goodbye. my mom took longer, because i could not stand to see her so lifeless. i couldn’t even touch her body when it was all cold and stiff. She was still warm when i held her. i love you so much Chicle. I’m so sorry.

I lost my sweet baby Hershey two days ago, on Saturday he started to regurgitate and couldn’t keep any food down so we booked him in for the soonest vet appointment we could get witch was 4 days later he was happy and playing the night before and I put him to bed and said goodnight and then the next morning when I woke up he was lifeless on the bottom of the cage my life feels so empty without him and I jsut want him back I wish he could come back and do all the things I used to think were annoying he was my soul bird and I wish he was still here I can’t help but thinks it’s all my fault and think about how I should have snuggled with him more before I put him to sleep but I gave him pats and a kiss for the last time and that was it I said I love you and everything but I jsut feel so guilty and I don’t think I will ever recover. I can’t do anything without Thi king of him because he was always their every second of the day and all I wan t is for him to come back.

I accidentally killed my beautiful 4 year old budgie Pucci today. My family does not like it when he flies around in the living room, so I usually close the door. I left the door open this time and while he was trying to get out, I closed the door, which resulted in him getting stuck between door and frame. He just fell down on the ground and didn’t move. He bled from his eye. He died in my hands. It was my fault and I can never forgive myself for what I have done.

Today my two beautiful baby budgies passed. Two weeks before now I’d gotten a puppy, and my family has never really liked my birds. I was pressured to put them into a smaller cage, which I did. My grandpa has breeded birds for his whole life so we decided when I was ready he’d take in three of my five budgies temporarily. The past three days have been very busy and cold. I live in a very cold area. I noticed all of them have been cold and did my best to keep them warm. This morning I went to change their food and discovered the youngest, Peep, wasn’t moving. Then, I found my other baby, Tee, “asleep”. My three other birds who are about 1-3 years old were all cold but fine. I feel horrible. They were too cold, and now I realize I should’ve given them even more food. Further, I am disgusted with myself for leaving them in the tinier cage during their last days. I hadn’t been able to spend one on one time with them recently either because of how busy every things been. I just wish I could’ve held them one more time and play with them before they passed. I hope they passed knowing they were loved and, even if not properly in their last moments, cared for. Those two were my favorite- they were so beautiful and so kind. I’ll never have a bird like them again, I miss them very dearly. I feel very slightly better thinking about how they went together as they were very close. I don’t know how to move on from them, they were the absolute best.

I left a comment around 3 months ago or so as “B” My cute little Quaker parrot Valentina passed because I didn’t pick her up off the floor like I usually would’ve. I still regret it even 3 months later. I’m still grieving. My parents adopted 2 Sun Conures in the past 3 months. Not a day goes by where I don’t cry at night over my Quaker. I’m slowly starting to forget how she felt in my hands. Her laugh. Not a single day goes by where I don’t feel guilty. I miss her so much. Now that have sun conures, they’re much louder than her, more out going. I’m never letting them on the floor ever. Because of my past experience with my Quaker. In some ways it made me grow as a person. I make sure my conures are in a safe environment. I bought a new cage where they can’t get down so easily. Im trying my absolute hardest to make sure they’re healthy. Although I miss my Quaker so badly, I love my conures and I’m trying my absolute hardest to stay strong as I still cry about my Quaker everyday. You too can grow as a person, though it’ll never be the same ITS OKAY you got this be strong.

I lost my almost 1 year cockatiel last evening. I have never felt this kind of grief in my life before and I feel I will never be able to recover from this. My sweet and joyful Butter was playing with my last evening and moments later, I lost him in the most tragic way. Moments before his passed away, he was playing with me. I was lying down in the bed after coming back from work and he kept flying to me and playing around. It was time for me to get ready for the gym, so I kept his outside my room just as usual, thinking he will just walk around the dinning area or go towards the living room. Meanwhile, something in me felt like not going to the gym and I was trying to get into my comfort wear when I heard my husband screaming, Butter! I thought it was as usual of him because Butter keeps sitting on the sofa and it was just him trying to discourage him. But screams intensified, I ran out and saw him sitting next to butter’s unresponsive body on the sofa, only to realise he has got struck by the fan. I never wanted butter to be flightless but had I clipped his wings, he would have still been alone. I will never be able to forgive myself. Our ignorance costed the life of an innocent bird. He was a beautiful singer. I want to meet him and apologise to him for all the times I got anger at him. I want him back and I don’t know what to do.

My lovely lovely American Yellow Parrotlet Ella.. was attacked by her sister and she died at the vet’s this morning right before she was supposed to to have surgery to repair her wounds. I have learned a lesson tragically… I will never keep 2 parrotlets in the some cage ever again no matter how closely bonded they are

Just want to start by saying thank you all for sharing all these stories and find some comfort in knowing we are not alone. I lost my beautiful rainbow 🌈 budgie banito yesterday he was 4 months old. I had just given my daughter dinner and went upstairs to do some bits when after only 15 mins she came running up shouting he was dead. She had tried to hold him and stroke him and in doing so held him to tight and he died. She is so upset and feels so bad. And I feel so guilty I wasn’t there to supervise and save him I’m absolutely heartbroken i can’t cope with this feeling my chest is tight and I feel sick with guilt now my other budgie is all alone and dosent know where his brother is. Don’t no what to do. 😔

It’s comforting to read other owners stories. My sister got my mum a budgie. She has had other budgies in her life and I had a few as a kid. I was living with them and bonded with Mary. When Mary turned 1 years old we got her a friend budgie Maisy. I moved out of my mums and would come to visit them. On my recent visit something was wrong with Maisy. We’ve had her 1.5 years at this point and Mary flew around my head to show me there was something wrong. Maisy was scratching at her vent and trying to pass her poo but wasn’t able to. This made her sick. We tried to get an appointment at the vet but they didn’t have any, they said to bath her in warm water and call back on Monday. We was waiting until Monday. On Sunday evening I went out to an event and came back home walking through the door to see Maisy in my mums hands. I was suprised as she doesnt let us hold her. She was up right and alive. We wasn’t able to bath her because she wouldn’t let us hold her and she didn’t go in the water herself. I didn’t know what was happening when my mum was holding her. She said she fell. The sofa had been moved and she must have fallen from her perch. We should have kept her in the cage. She was getting more sick and making a squeeking sound and closing her eyes. As far as I saw she was still holding herself up on her perch so I thought she would survive and be able to see a vet. I knew there was something going on with her but I didn’t know she was that ill. I don’t know if the fall killed her or it was from fear of my mum holing her but suddenly she rolled onto her back and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I looked at her chest to see if I could start cpr but her little beak was closed. I grabbed a teatowel and got my mum to put her inside I covered her and lay her down on the table. I was fearful of Mary seeing her and being distraught. My mum was asking if she is dead at the time i was sure she was. Now I’m wondering if she was playing dead. I left her in the tea towel for an hour and then folded her up into a box. I’m replaying it wondering if I could have saved her and if I did something wrong. I didn’t want her to suffer and am still wondering what killed her and if she was dead at all and if I should have done something differently. I’m waiting for pictures of her to arrive that we can keep on the wall and now I will keep her in my heart and take the best care of Mary that I can. I really hope she didn’t suffer. I put nice music on and kept the house warm for her to recover but I’m not sure what happened while I was away and I didn’t feel like I could help her at that point. Thank you for offering a space to share.

My beautiful pineapple conure died today, it was my fault, I was doing too many things at once, should have put him in his cage, but didn’t, he was on my head, got spooked, when I bent down to get something from a corner under my sink, he bit me, I threw him off, I knew the minute he fell something was wrong, he died in my hand. I feel so guilty, I am responsible for his death, if I could swap with him I would. I am so sorry Paddy..