I think that one of the hardest jobs here at Birdtricks is consoling owners whose birds have died. I don’t envy the ladies in customer service – sometimes it is heart wrenching.
Often people contact us because they need a shoulder to cry on – we all know how hard it is to find anyone who understands the way we love our birds. Sometimes it helps to communicate with people who you know won’t make little of your grief.
Perhaps the hardest is the contact with people whose own errors in judgment have resulted in the loss of their bird, or have in some way caused it suffering. There is guilt – and you can feel its weight on them.
The cruelest emotion of all is regret. Knowing that you are responsible for something that has happened, seeing in your mind exactly where you went wrong and being unable to call that action back. It doesn’t matter how many people remind you that it was an accident and tell not to be hard on yourself because you didn’t know what the outcome would be, in your heart you know it was preventable and there is no forgiving yourself.
I have been there and have wrestled (and lost) with the words ”if only”. This post is about the unproductiveness of guilt.
We all make mistakes. We all forget to do things. We all use bad judgment at times. All of us.
I got word last week that a friend and a fellow bird owner lost her beloved goffins cockatoo because she neglected to padlock the cage before she left for work. She came home to an empty cage and eventually located her bird, dead from poisoning, beneath the kitchen sink.
She said that she had been preoccupied with a problem at work and her mind was not on her bird’s safety as she left the house. She vows to never own a bird again. She no longer considers herself a fit owner. I disagree and told her so.
If all she takes away from her experience with her bird is guilt, she is under-valuing its life. I know for a fact that her life with her bird had been a journey of learning and happiness and I know that her bird had a great life with her.
The manner in which her bird died is a tragedy. But I feel she should be grieving her bird’s loss, not her part in it. There is no gain in that thinking, only further loss.
I’m not sure whether forgiving yourself gives you the freedom to learn from your mistakes or whether personal growth allows for forgiveness. All I know for certain is that without both only negative things remain.
Even though this post has caused me to revisit some painful events with my birds, I choose to be thankful for the learning experiences that they have presented me with. I am eternally grateful for the small creatures that have pushed me to better myself which in turn helps me to be better to them. I have forgiven myself for my mistakes.
If you have lost a bird, or one became injured in your care, please share how you moved past it and how you grew to be a better bird owner because of it.
Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.
75 comments
My cute Quaker would always climb down her cage. She would bite my feet and climb back up laughing. I hated when she went on the floor because I didn’t wanna lose sight of her. She passed 2 days ago. I was eat in my lunch and she climbed down. Usually I would get her and help her fly back to her cage. I chose to eat this one time. My dad got up to get napkins and stepped on her. I carried her kept her warm. She had a leg injury. She lasted 10-17 minutes before passing that day. I’m never forgiving myself. I should’ve picked her up. I should’ve put her back in her cage. I should’ve I should’ve I should’ve. I regret it all. I couldn’t even look at her body. We buried her. And I’m still in denial trying to believe that she’s alive. By reflex I keep going to her cage thinking she’s there barking. She was a cute Quaker that knew how to bark. I’m never getting over that guilt.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over losing my sweet cockatiel, Pearl. I was at home working when I got a call from my son asking me to pick him up. I remember thinking that I needed to put Pearl in her cage (she was only caged when we left and at night to sleep- otherwise she was always out) but I don’t actually remember doing it. When we got home, it was stormy and the house was dark. My son ran to her cage to let her out and exclaimed WHERE IS SHE?! Then we noticed feathers everywhere and then we saw her body- my dog was standing over her. My son ran to his room and I screamed and cried, wailing “no, no, no” over and over. I picked up her body and held her and screamed and wailed. She was my soul bird who helped me through the grief of losing my mother. She was the sweetest thing on earth, literally perfect. We had bonded immediately with her wanting to be on me always from the moment we met. We later realized the food door was left slightly ajar, so either I was so careless as to have not put her up, or she escaped because I didn’t notice the food door wasn’t secure. Either way, it was my fault. The images are nonstop and the guilt and sadness are debilitating. But, mostly, I just want my sweet girl back. She was so happy and such a joy to my whole family. We homeschool and work from home, so we were always together. She chilled on the couch with us when watching tv and hung out at the kitchen table during lessons. I never saw thia coming with my dogs, but also I never would have intentionally left them out together. I don’t understand how I could have been so careless. This is a literal nightmare.
I went for a quick walk yesterday and came back to find my conure drowned in the toilet. I was beside myself and never thought in a million years that toilets were dangerous for birds; in all the YouTube videos I had watched about what to be careful of, I don’t remember this ever coming up. But in hindsight, it seems so obvious. Why didn’t I just put the toilet seat down? Why did I let him in the bathroom? Why didn’t I realize this would happen? I feel so guilty that these things didn’t occur to me. I loved that bird so much and all day and all night I keep thinking that I just want him back. Finding him dead was so shocking, and I have never felt grief like this over an animal. I have not gotten over my guilt yet, but I hope that it will fade over time.
My budgies of 4 years died today. I just came back from a 1 week trip and we usually left her and two other budgies alone and they always were fine when we were back. But this time I don’t know why but I had a wierd feeling even before leaving for the trip. So I decided to make sure that a lady came and checked on them 2 times in this week. She sent me photos and they all looked fine and healthy. But I was so dumb that I had left a huge Towel roll which had a hole in the middle big enough for them to get stuck. I had left it on a table near their cage even on the last day she went there was a photo where my bird was playing on this roll but it never came to my mind that this would be the reason she dies. She got stuck in it and couldn’t come out. I can’t imagine for how long she suffered. I feel so much of guilt. We’re going to bury her tomorrow. I’ve decide to give away my two other budgies. I don’t think I’m worthy of ever having a pet again.
I lost one of my cockatiels on Monday. I’ve never lost a pet to anything other than old age before. Of course it’s sad to lose a pet to old age…. But it feels entirely different, and worse to lose one before its time. I am not certain if what killed my bird was an underlying condition or something in her environment. I started my day as normal. It was a work from home day, but I had planned to be at the gym over lunch, and my schedule was otherwise full of meetings. I’d noticed the day prior that Rose had been sleeping a lot, but since she was going through a heavy molt, I assumed she was just tired from that. As my final meeting of the day ended at 4pm, I looked over toward my birds cages and noticed Rose facedown on the floor of her cage. She was still alive when I found her, but very weak. I tried to give her water, but she would not open her beak. I knew she was going to die when I showed her some millet and she did not even open her mouth. I decided to swaddle her in a hand towel and take her outside into the sun and warmth, and give her head scratches until she passed. It seemed to comfort her. While doing this, I noticed that her crop was extremely distended and mushy to the touch. I had a brief glimmer of hope that maybe there was a blockage and if I could empty her crop she might live. I had read that the crop can be emptied by placing light pressure or taps on the chest and angling the bird’s head toward the ground. It seemed to work, a lot of fluid came out rapidly. But when it was done, after only 5 or 6 seconds, she was already dead. I am haunted by the fact that this last experience of her life was likely very unpleasant. I hope at least that the emptying of her crop provided some relief. I buried her in my mom’s backyard and we had a little ceremony for her. Since then, I have been reading more about cockatiel health issues, which I thought I was already somewhat informed of. i’ve learned that i was extremely ignorant. Rose has always had a “puffy” chest. For the 8 month’s i’ve owned her. i thought it was just how she is built. Especially because i commented about it to my vet during a visit for another of my birds (Rose’s mate). Unfortunately the vet did not say anything to indicate it might be a problem. So i assumed it was not a problem. I only recognize it now for what it might have been: a crop infection. Now I can’t stop thinking that she might have had a painful infection for months that i ignored through ignorance. I can’t stop blaming myself for her death because it might have been prevented if i’d booked a vet visit just for her (rather than the visit mentioned above, which she simply tagged along to). Maybe something as simple as antibiotics would have cured her and she would still be alive. Or maybe it was something else entirely that I could not have prevented even if i had tried. I will never know and it is tearing me up. But i am trying to value the good time we had together. I work from home, so my birds get to roam out of their cages all day, play with eachother, and be around me. She had a mate. She had toys. I would talk to her and give her treats. She is gone far too soon (18 months old), but I know i will be much more vigilant about the health of my birds now. I have had the others for years. They see the vet regularly. I wish I had started taking Rose when I first got her. Rest in peace Rosie. I love you and I miss you. Somethi
I have walked out of my house with my pet lorikeet on my shoulder , I did not realise he was there because I had a thick jumper on and when I got outside I felt sick when I realised and gut reaction was to try and grab him and he flew off and I can’t beleive after being so careful for 6 yrs that it happened and he was so special and hard to move forward without him ,but I realise that It happens as is not because we don’t care life is hard sometimes and I have to accept the results of my actions
Towards the end of June, my dad found a nestling that had been fallen out of its nest. The poor thing took a pretty hard fall from our tall flower bushes, about 7-8 feet. When my dad found him/her, ants were already swarming its body. We did our best to find a way to put the little one back in the nest, but the nest was hard to reach within a labyrinth of twisting branches. Upon closer inspection of the parents, we narrowed the species down to the California Towhee and began researching how to care of the poor guy. My sister and I kept a close eye on the baby and settled on calling it “Junior”, a reference to a SpongeBob SquarePants episode where SpongeBob and Patrick take care of an orphaned scallop. Since “Junior” is a boy name, we began referring to the bird as “he/him” even though we couldn’t tell the sex. If he turned out to be a girl later on, we would’ve called her “Junia”. I was his main caretaker and I had the pleasure of getting to know such a smart, sassy, and cheerful little fella. I would talk to him all the time and he would always chirp more whenever I was nearby or if he heard my voice; even if I was talking to someone else. During the last 2 weeks of his life, we transferred him from a woven box with a small heating pad to a roomy cage with toys and a small coconut bird house; a temporary little home. It wasn’t long until we noticed that his feet didn’t develop properly. He stumbled most of the time and tried his best to fly. Adding on, his tail feathers never grew long enough for him to balance during any length of flight, so he ended up flailing around and falling down. This was concerning considering that his parents and siblings had already left the nest and Junior was still growing some feathers and learning to stand. I wanted to give him the best chance at being released so I wanted to make him stronger. I fed him every few hours and offered him food any time he was overly chatty, which he happily accepted. I began getting used to feeding him early in the morning and throughout the day. I assume he became used to me the most since he would chirp more when he heard my voice or saw me coming towards him. He wouldn’t accept food from anyone else. A few days ago, my sister and I wanted to make him “sandals” to see if we could help straighten and strengthen his feet. I did some research and saw that some people would cut small pieces of thick paper and use medical tape to attach them to the birds foot. We did just that and it actually worked. For the first time in his life, Junior was hopping all by himself. He was able to hop around the bottom of his cage without tripping on his toes. Yesterday morning, he still had his sandals on, but one of his feet began to curl inward again. I removed the one sandal and planned to make him a new one later. I fed him as usual had the idea to get him new foods to try. Before I left the house, I had actually done some cleaning and vacuuming, since my sister and I have been getting bed bug bites. I had sprayed a chair with bed bug spray near Junior’s cage, not directly next to him. I’d say the chair was about 5 feet away and I had also vacuumed it in hopes of keeping the smell down. The bottle said it was safe for children and pets so I thought that my dogs and Junior would be okay. An hour afterward, I left to get Junior’s new food and he was still lively when I walked out the door. I was out for about 3 hours, since I had to walk to and from the store, and came home to a quiet house. I called out to Junior and he would normally answer. That’s when I knew something was wrong. I rushed over to his cage and found him barely alive. I picked him up as he was gasping for air and he actually chirped one last time. He passed away in my hands shortly after and I had never cried harder than I did in that moment. I truly did love him and I felt like I had lost my child. I regret ever cleaning around the house before leaving and I wish I had more time with him so he could have gotten stronger and been released. I miss him so much that I have been crying on and off for the past couple hours. I know that I can’t change anything but I miss his little chirps and his little hops he would do when he would get excited. I remember reminding myself in the beginning not to get too attached so I wouldn’t feel upset when he passed away or was released. This situation hurts more because I took the time to care for him, get to know him, and love him. He had a little soul when I looked into his eyes and he always seemed genuinely happy to see me. I’m going to miss that. However, I do know that he’s not hurting anymore. I’m not sure if the bed bug spray was what killed him, but he’s in a better place where he has normal feet, a full tail, and as many worms as he can stomach. I did my best even if his life was shorter than what I was aiming for and I’m glad that I was there when he passed. He could’ve passed long before I got home, but I like to imagine that he waited for me to come home before passing. He was in the hands of someone who deeply cared for him when he passed and I’m content knowing that he wasn’t alone. I’ll do my best to move forward and make him proud. He can hop and fly freely now.
My beautiful Jo had diarrhoea vet gave me antibiotics I overdosed her by mistake reading the syringe my heart is broken . She had a stroke and died 3 days later I’m heartbroken the most loveliest intelligent little bird I can’t for give myself 😥😥😥
My soul bird Frank died. He was an American Budgie and he talked…said real words and he was as in love with me as I was with him. It was an accident. My son was sleeping in the bird room and must have accidentally rolled on him. I’m heart broken. I loved him so much. I feel guilty for opening the cage but my son had slept in there before and nothing bad had happened. If the cage was closed it wouldn’t have happened. I will never have another bird like Frank, he was one of a kind and my heart has a huge hole. Of course my son is upset as well because he feels responsible so I hide my grief around him.
I see this article is old, but still, my precious 8-year-old cockatiel Lucy died today when I cleaned my oven (self-cleaning). The guilt is overwhelming.. We loved each other so…Thanks for the article..
Revisiting these memories stirs up every emotion within me, transporting me back to that moment, leaving me unable to catch my breath. Three years ago, I was devastated by the sudden loss of my father to a heart attack. The shock of receiving that early morning call from the hospital, informing me of his three consecutive heart attacks, was overwhelming. Although he passed away alone, I found comfort in the presence of Yağmur, my loyal companion. Since childhood, rain has been my imaginary friend, my confidant, offering solace in times of sorrow. That’s why I named her Yağmur, which means rain in Turkish. She symbolized the enduring bond between my father and me. Every night, before we retired for the night, I would share my deepest longings for my father with her. But fate intervened, and I made a grave mistake that I deeply regret. As the weather warmed, I decided to take Yağmur outside for some fresh air. In a moment of affection, I reached out to give her a a kiss, but she slipped from my grasp. She fluttered away, landing on a distant tree, her frightened chirps echoing in the evening silence. For hours, I watched anxiously from below as she hopped from branch to branch in search of safety. But fear held her captive, and as darkness fell, I lost her forever. The night sky seemed to mourn with me, echoing the ache in my heart. Days turned into weeks of tireless searching for Yağmur, each moment a weight on my soul, a constant reminder of my inadvertent actions. Guilt consumed me, knowing that my recklessness robbed me of the last tangible connection to my father. Though Yağmur weighed only 100 grams, her pain felt like tons, crushing my soul beneath its weight. Every day is a struggle, every breath a painful reminder of my profound loss. I am haunted by memories of our time together, and the void left by Yağmur’s absence speaks volumes about the depth of my grief. In this darkness, I humbly ask for your prayers, as even the simplest act of breathing feels like an unbearable burden.
It was on march 18 I knew he needed more food and water. the night before at 12 I went up to my room after being away and was gonna go to sleep planning to change his food and water the next day I grabbed a water bottle to drink it and he knows he’s getting more water when he hears a water bottle and he made a noise and started dancing, I wish I had just done it that night instead of being lazy. He was out of food and water for a little while so i was gonna do the next day but when I was about to leave to a appointment for the dentist I saw him laying in the corner on the bottom of his cage and I immediately grabbed him and ran to my mom she couldn’t hear a heartbeat or breathing he probably died in the middle of the night it was time to go to the dentist so we couldn’t do much so we put him in a shoe box with a blanket and his toy. If we didn’t have to go I feel like we could’ve done something and I regret it so much for not changing his food and water enough and not spending time with him and not trying harder to help him become alive again. I can’t stop crying
My curious conure climbed into her plastic seed storage container through the flip top lid. I didn’t know she was in there when I closed the lid. I left for an overnight stay and discovered her body more than 12 hours after realizing she was missing. I’ll never forgive myself. Canela was a cinnamon green cheek. My friend for almost 15 years. Her young companion of just 1 year is grieving. He took such good care of her in life. In death he is watching o er her, sometimes preening her. He’s nesting and barely eating. It’s day one. Her body is laid out and we are in mourning together. I have 2 other birds grieving her loss as well, a pigeon and a cockatiel. Thank you for a place to write the unspeakable. I pray you each heal and find forgiveness. T
Hi I can’t believe that I used to come to this page to check what I should order or what kinds of training you guys have now I lost my baby Luna (green cheek conure) not sure how and why but I’m in pain. My chest feel heavy my house is quite she doesn’t call us anymore. No more of her chasing me around I just can’t imagine that she’s gone. She was only 2 . I feel horrible I light a candle for her every morning left a flower in her cage. I sent her for aqua-cremation. I feel I lost my own baby. I’m absolutely sad I want her back so bad. She left us a day after Valentine’s Day. I wished I spent more time with her. I wished she was here. I’m not gonna get another bird in my whole life because I loved her . I can’t have another bird I fails as a mom to take care of her. I’m shocked every day. Why did she left us. I never could imagine that she would leave. I was hoping she will see my baby but she’s gone so fast.
My father had picked up a young bird on the side of the road and brought it home. I was so exited to take care of it bought it worms and gave it water. The First day was challenging it didn’t really want to do much or take food from me. By day 3 after I took it into my care giving it attention, sleeping om my bed. I decided it was time to get a cage so it can have its own little space. It was taking food from me very happy…starting getting cheeky. I let it sleep in its cage (Which I om my bedroom floor for the night) This morning when I woke it had past. The ants had got to him. I know I should have let it sleep on my bed. If I could just turn back the clock and had not left it where the ants could get to it. None of this would have happend.
I lost my Olive today. She got out and while I was trying to get her out of the tree a hawk came and grabbed her right in front of me. I am so devastated. Trying to find a way to forgive myself. My heart is shattered
lost our little conured my sister bought, and I blame myself for the death of him. I wish I could turn back time if only I would’ve been more responsible for him, and we only had him for 8 months now. He’s gone for a mistake I made, and he was such a kind bird. He’d always land on our heads and give kisses, and just the thought of it breaks my heart looking at his cage and not hearing him anymore.
These stories are so helpful, and I thank everyone for their courage in sharing their grief. I too suffer from guilt because my sweet Linnie bird passed away last week and I can’t stop crying. He was so tame and trusted us fully. My family and I adored him! he would snuggle with us, eat with us, watch tv with us and was very much a part of our family. He spoke and would say “kisses”. One afternoon while I was having my afternoon coffee, my sweet bird joined me on the couch and wanted to snuggle. I let him go behind me on the couch and I arched my back so he could have room while he stayed cozy behind my back . I don’t know what happened, but after about half hour or so, I got up to see him just just lying there lifeless. I don’t know if I accidentally suffocated him or what but I screamed. I feel so terrible and feel so guilty, I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. He loved me and trusted me and I let him down. I also feel responsible for my family’s grief and I can’t stop replaying it all in my head. This is the worst feeling 😭. I loved him so much, and he’s gone. That pit in the stomach I feel is so painful and I don’t know how to move on from the guilt. I hope my story can help someone else, just like your stories are helping me. His name was Peanut, and he was a very special friend.
These stories are so helpful, and I thank everyone for their courage in sharing their grief. I too suffer from guilt because my sweet Linnie bird passed away last week and I can’t stop crying. He was so tame and trusted us fully. My family and I adored him! he would snuggle with us, eat with us, watch tv with us and was very much a part of our family. He spoke and would say “kisses”. One afternoon while I was having my afternoon coffee, my sweet bird joined me on the couch and wanted to snuggle. I let him go behind me on the couch and I arched my back so he could have room while he stayed cozy behind my back . I don’t know what happened, but after about half hour or so, I got up to see him just just lying there lifeless. I don’t know if I accidentally suffocated him or what but I screamed. I feel so terrible and feel so guilty, I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. He loved me and trusted me and I let him down. I also feel responsible for my family’s grief and I can’t stop replaying it all in my head. This is the worst feeling 😭. I loved him so much, and he’s gone. That pit in the stomach I feel is so painful and I don’t know how to move on from the guilt. I hope my story can help someone else, just like your stories are helping me. His name was Peanut, and he was a very special friend.
I’m completely heartbroken as my budgie Petal died last night what seemed to us “suddenly” but in fact she had been ill for a long time without me realising. I can’t describe how devastated I am to know she was suffering and could easily have been treated if only I’d taken her to the vet sooner. Yesterday morning I found her huddled on the bottom of the cage with her feathers all fluffed up and I knew that was a very serious sign so called the emergency vet and they cared for her for about 10 hours before she passed away. She wasn’t even 2 years old and I feel so guilty that I didn’t know more about signs of illness. We have another budgie who is now nearly 7 and has been to the vet a couple of times, but overall has been very easy to care for, and the vet gave me better advice about their diet etc, so I thought I was giving them everything they needed to be healthy. Petal most likely had a crop infection (although there could have been a different cause) and it turns out she had actually been suffering with vomiting for a long time and had lost a lot of weight. It really pains me to think of how long she was ill and I never realised. I thought she was just throwing food around and making a mess. I cleaned their cage and food and water bowls every day but the bowls were on the floor and although I was careful to position them away from perches I suspect this is why she became ill. In 7 years It never caused a problem for the other bird and the vet never mentioned it when we visited :‘( It is hard to imagine I’ll ever be able to think of this without feeling completely heartbroken as well as terribly guilty. I am trying to forgive myself for not knowing everything but it’s so hard when my poor innocent bird died because of my ignorance. Reading these stories has helped me as I can feel everyone’s pain at losing a bird they loved, and feeling that they should have been able to prevent it. It is an awful feeling and so sad. Sometimes terrible things happen, but the love for these companions really shines out from all of these stories. Grief is so hard – sending love to anyone reading this who feels like they failed their friend.
I had my “kuttush”, a really sweetheart bird. She would mimic cat sounds in a really clear voice and we all laugh. She learned to say many things. A cheerful, social butterfly, and warm hearted bird. Specially she just loved it when childrens play with her. There’s not a day when we forgot about her or forget to give her loving kisses and light massages, She loved it and would sleep soundly. She was a little weak from the start and got sick at a time. Some say that might be because of mosquito bite or she had fever. We tried everything to bring our Kuttush back. At a point she even stop saying everything. We got worried but didn’t stop trying. After some day eventually she started to talk a little but very limited and slowly recovering. As it was winter time she again got sick a little so I didn’t wanted her to suffer same. So I tried to feed medicine with a dropper as I usually do. Maybe I was way too harsh this time she chocked and died. All because of me. Every second I was thinking “what if I just ignored giving medicine to her that day” “what if I didn’t went to that room where she was that day” this things literally eating me alive. Every single person loved her….her sound was so soothing. She loved to sit on warm clothes. So every night we had to put a warm clothe for her. She would just stare when you eat just like puppy eyes. I’m guilty not only for being careless but snaching everyone’s happiness. Everyone was sad and still they do. I feel so bad and guilt. Blaming myself just became a habit. I should have been careful that day. Or maybe I should have just let someone else giving her medicine. It hurts me still . And i will never be able to adore or love a per like her. My whole family loved her and I just killed it. I know it happened accidentally accidentally. But can’t forgive myself for this.
Our little Corella Coco was pure happiness and joy for us. 4 years old, he had been with us for over 3 years, a full family member indeed. Mischievous, sociable, playful, and very tender, he would play with us all the time. The veterinarian who observed Coco said she had never met such a sociable and smart corella. He would sit on our shoulders and give a kiss, mimicking the kiss sound, would hide and then jump out and boo us, do all types of funny things, watch movies with us, and hang around while I worked on my note. He had so much character and smarts, that I used to say that was a reincarnation of a human, who somehow managed to retain his human intellect. Coco was pure joy. How everyone loved him, how my son calling from abroad would talk to him every time, how we all warned each other when Coco was on the floor, how we shared allowed food with him, all was a beautiful chain of traditions that loving beings share in a family. When it was time for the cage, he would usually fly from place to place and we would chase him, laughing and clapping. It was like a ritual, a play we all enjoyed. We changed our apartment a month ago, and he was less used to the new apartment. About a week ago, as I chased him to get back to his cage, he made some unusual sharp sounds, like he did not enjoy it. My husband then simply stretched his hand and he quietly sat on it as he put him back in the cage. I kissed him good night, as usual, and noticed that he looked somewhat different. “Pretending offended”, I guessed. Ok, I kissed him good night. Let him calm down, I will make up with him tomorrow. In the morning, changing his food and water, he was quietly sitting at the corner and even ate a bit. I went to my study to work. A couple of hours later, I approached the cage and found him on the cage floor lifelessly stretched on his belly. I held him, kissed him, tried to do artificial breathing, and massaged his heart while hysterically running to the veterinarian. She said he was dead and found a tiny blood stain near his beak. She said probably he hurt his beak while flying in the house he was not well accustomed to, and it resulted in a stroke. Or maybe, he got poisoned with avocado that I unknowingly allowed him to eat with me the previous day. I feel so guilty. And I had no time to properly make up with him. But most of all, I cannot forgive myself, that I was not with him the moment he felt bad, the moment he needed some tenderness, care, and a warm grip. My little Coco, we miss him so badly. No other bird can ever replace him. No other pet can ever be him.
I lost my beloved cockatiel a week ago. He was about 2.5 years old, and would drink from cups with no problem, so he has one in his cage filled with water. One morning, me and my wife were laying in the bedroom, and I remember seeing him alive for the last time when I first came out to the bathroom and then when we were listening to music back in the bedroom I heard a brief scream, but paid no attention to it, since he used to scream periodically all the time with no particular reason (like could’ve seen a bird in the window or heard someone whistling). Maybe a 5-15 minutes have passed, so I when I came out I’ve seen him laying in the cup with the head down. I immediately tried to CPR him but no luck. Still can’t believe that have happened. If it wasn’t for cup or at least I wasn’t laying in the bed at that exact time, I could’ve saved him. And it tears me apart, that the before I came to sleep a day before that, he was outside the cage so I picked him up in the darkness to put him in, but he got scared and bite me. Last few moments with him were when I got bitten and a brief look in the morning and when I heard him screaming for help but did nothing. I can’t get over this… Wish I could do CPR better, maybe I could’ve saved him, or never allowed him to drink from cups. I miss you
It’s been over a year and I still miss my budgie so much. I got him for my daughter during the pandemic and working from home, it quickly became clear that he was a special guy. I spent a lot of time with him, and he would fly around the house, and hang out on my shoulder, and computer monitor all day. He learned to talk a few phrases, and was just a delightful companion. One day, my kids and I gave him some avocado from the dinner table, not knowing it is toxic to birds (and most animals, by the way). This was after we returned to work, so I left for the day without paying too much attention to him. He died shortly after I returned home from work that day. I still miss him dearly. I have two other parakeets and they are great, but they’re not him. I regret that mistake and while I learned a lesson, I can’t get my guy back.
I just feel guilty because I am not good enough for my birds I barely get to see them and I just am not ready feeling like giving up but I can’t its to hard I am crying right now
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