The Night Before Christmas (Cockatoo Style)

This is priceless.  For those of you with cockatoos, especially goffins, the engineering variety of cockatoo, you will treasure this.  Once again, the author is unknown:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The birds were all fed and put out to play,
Everyone was settled – I was done for the day.

When down from the basement there arose such a clatter,
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter.
I raced down the steps and turned down the light,
Glancing first to the left and then to the right.
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot,
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!

The Goffins are missing I yelled to my spouse,
While I shuddered to think what they’d do to the house.
My fears were well founded I soon came to know.
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed,
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy,
which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.

The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess,
This Cockatoo duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound,
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren’t to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring,
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail.
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail.

Holding my breath as I approached with great care,
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed,
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze,
Then the Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet,
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat.
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage,
Don’t you two ever, ever come out of your cage!

They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment,
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment.
I’ll clean up tomorrow.
I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one ‘Too said “bye bye.”
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm,
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm.

For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun,
It was hard to stay angry despite what they’d done.

My jangled nerves and life’s hectic pace,
Had made me forget what was in my face.
I didn’t need gifts, fancy stuff from the store.
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!

My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse,
Everything that mattered was right here in this house.
So Santa I thank you but I don’t need a lot,
I’m learning to be grateful for all that I’ve got.
If you come down my chimney to leave something new,
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the ‘Toos!!

I wish you all the happiest holidays and the brightest new year.

Author Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.

127 comments

LeNordais

Smart birds!! I once came back from work and my Macaw was missing, cage door opened. She was hiding behing a chair. No damage done though. Door and food access are now double locked.

LeNordais
belva

Thanks for this. It is so typical of cockatoos, and a very clever poem.

belva
Faith Embleton

What a cute poem, It did bring a smile to my face Faith Ken Congo the African Gray at Yellowknife, NT ( in the Arctic) Canada Merry Christmas

Faith Embleton
Tracy

This is hysterical!! Thank you for sharing! I have an 8 yr old Umbrella Cockatoo who was placed with me. The demon “let” himself out of the cage one memorable night when he got bored and I found the living room shredded: cords, electronics, furniture… I was shaking with rage and wanted to call the vet for an execution-literally and immediately. But the second I got near him, he ducked his head and fell forward so he curled against my chest. Then he tilted his head, looked at me with one eyeball, clucked his tongue and said “good boy??? love you…” Needless to say, he is still alive and bringing color, noise, energy, fun and lots of love into my home. I threaten to pluck him and cook him for dinner on a regular basis but he just chuckles at me and sprawls across my lap for cuddles. I wouldn’t trade him for the world…but I have learned a lot about sturdy locks and how to occupy him!

Tracy
Lilla

THANKS FOR THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR THEW CREATURES…! GOD BLESS YOU…! MARRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY…! LILLA AND MY AMAZON (Ciccia)

Lilla
eldorasweetbird

that ones a good one for bird lovers like myself!!!!!!! cute and funny

eldorasweetbird
Mim, New South Wales, Australia

Loved the poem, however I have my own poem I’d like to share – not cute and funny I’m afraid - JESSE Two weeks before Christmas you got sick and you died, You’d never believe just how much I cried. It happened so suddenly I wasn’t prepared And I never even knew just how much I cared. There’s an empty space now where your cage used to be And every day I can’t help but see Your cute little face and your whistles to attract My attention, and sadly I didn’t always react. I sit alone now when I watch TV And I miss not having you on my arm or knee. I go to my bed and I cannot sleep As thoughts of you in my mind will creep. Jesse, I really can’t believe you’re gone You loved me so much and you tolerated John. All you ever wanted was to be with me And each day play on your activity tree. But I want you to know that though we’re apart You never will be replaced in my heart. I hope birds go to heaven and that one day I’ll feel The pleasure again of seeing my cockatiel.

Mim, New South Wales, Australia
Stephanie

Hi I love this poem, I work at a World Parrot Refuge, and this is a great poem, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Stephanie
Maya

Too cute!!

Maya
bmoraski

Great poem ! it put a smile on my face. Truley a great story. thank you, Godbless and Merry Christmas !

bmoraski
The Greers

That was hilarious!!!!! Our house is run by 1 green check conure who would do that and 2 tiels that would just stare at him in disgust!!!! Thanks for sharing that poem and for the training tips and videos, they have really helped bridge the communication gap in this house. I too feel blessed with my feathers friends, Im so used to someone traveling on my shoulder I sometimes forget noones there!!!! To all the birds and their parents out there, Have a safe and happy holiday season and 2010.

The Greers
birdman

This is really fantastic. Wish it was a video..hehhe

birdman
Gabriela Osbourne-Orme

Awwww thats so sweet. I have a Buggie name Milo and he is as sweet as anything, well thats when he want’s to be hahahaha. but all from that it was a really good poem and I really liked it. Merry Christmas everyone out there and a Great Happy New Year for you and you feather friends!!!

Gabriela Osbourne-Orme
Virginia Snow

Enchanting and full of giggles. Thank you

Virginia Snow
Chris

Thank You for sharing that wonderful story. I’m a private bird rescue/sanctuary and although I don’t have Goffins, I do have 2 umbrellas. They are definitely mischievous by themselves, but you add them to the B & G’s, the Amazons and the Conures and I never have a dull moment, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love all your articles and bird tips, a fan forever. From me and all my feathered friends, to you and all yours Merry Christmas, and wishing you a wonderful 2010.

Chris
Fredswolf

HAHAHA I loved it, I have an Umbrella cockatoo named Gooberd and he goes nuts if given the chance with any paper products so naturally Christmas morning was a ball for, this reminded me of that. Thanks for bringing this ray of sun into our morning.

Fredswolf
Barbara DeFiore

This was soooo Good!!!!! Merry Christmas

Barbara DeFiore
Christine Sexton

Awwww….how tweet!!! :0)

Christine Sexton
paul

Thank you for the poem and i hope you and all parrot s and there keepers have a Happy Christmas and New year paul

paul
Esther

Hi Chet That was very heart warming I have received you E-mails and you never made me feel like I was bothering you I did not buy anything but you sent E-mails anyway. Now I feel you are very dedicated to your birds and bird lovers. Keep up the good work. Besides other birds I have lesser cockatoo and used some of your lessons and they work. May you have a healthy and happy New Year with all your family

Esther
rene sandajan

I love that poem it remind me a christmas of my love bird paraket and i love bird MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL LOVE BIRD OWNER

rene sandajan
Rene

So nice poem i love that i have two paraket love bird Merry Christmas Happy New Year

Rene
Rene

I love it! Merry Christmas Happy New Year

Rene
Kate & Louie - bird

this story is such a classic, it certainly put a smile to my face! i just wish that my cockatiel (Louie) was more curious and mischievious than shy, he only wants to snuggle up for kisses and scratches (very effectionate) and is not prone to trying anything new – damn! but he is such a woderful companion! thanks for sharing this christmas story with me i truly enjoyed it!

Kate & Louie - bird
MELODY

To cute I have 9 parrots so I know where your comming from when they get out OH BOY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS

MELODY

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