The Night Before Christmas (Cockatoo Style)

This is priceless.  For those of you with cockatoos, especially goffins, the engineering variety of cockatoo, you will treasure this.  Once again, the author is unknown:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The birds were all fed and put out to play,
Everyone was settled – I was done for the day.

When down from the basement there arose such a clatter,
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter.
I raced down the steps and turned down the light,
Glancing first to the left and then to the right.
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot,
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!

The Goffins are missing I yelled to my spouse,
While I shuddered to think what they’d do to the house.
My fears were well founded I soon came to know.
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed,
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy,
which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.

The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess,
This Cockatoo duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound,
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren’t to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring,
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail.
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail.

Holding my breath as I approached with great care,
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed,
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze,
Then the Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet,
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat.
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage,
Don’t you two ever, ever come out of your cage!

They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment,
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment.
I’ll clean up tomorrow.
I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one ‘Too said “bye bye.”
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm,
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm.

For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun,
It was hard to stay angry despite what they’d done.

My jangled nerves and life’s hectic pace,
Had made me forget what was in my face.
I didn’t need gifts, fancy stuff from the store.
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!

My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse,
Everything that mattered was right here in this house.
So Santa I thank you but I don’t need a lot,
I’m learning to be grateful for all that I’ve got.
If you come down my chimney to leave something new,
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the ‘Toos!!

I wish you all the happiest holidays and the brightest new year.

Author Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.

127 comments

sandy jones

Thank you for sharing your poem It was great-MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR..from our house to yours-BIRDS are like family too

sandy jones
Dean

THAT is fantastic! Merry Christmas from us and our Too’s

Dean
Winnie

Cute poem! Wishing you, your family and bird bird a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2010. All our best wishes Winnie, Michel and Marina Bird members : Charlie, Macho, Choco, Syvestie, Chai, Bubu and Baby.

Winnie
Josee

This was so wonderful!!! I loved it and I’ll share it with all my bird friends. Thank you so much! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Josee
Evelyn

I can relate to Mollie about hearing an intruder talking the house in the middle of the night. I haven’t mistaken my macaw for an intruder but he talks in his sleep and even sings. Sometimes he wakes up and starts talking loudly so I tell him “shh, it’s okay” and he quiets down. It’s the funniest thing! Merry Christmas to all! Thanks for publishing the poem. I love it!

Evelyn
Evelyn and Dani

Lovely poem, have a merry xmas to everyone. Our long bills would take this tree apart if given the chance, but love ’em just the same – corellas are so personable.

Evelyn and Dani
Denise Heath

This was great!!! If that was mmy Goffin Percy, all the lights would have been taken out of the tree!!

Denise Heath
Renee Sinrod

Your poem is delightful but please explain to me how a clatter could arise down from a basement or to go down to down the light? Shouldn’t the word “up” be used in both cases? Wishing you the best greetings, I am an 83 year old who was given an eleven year old cockatiel because the lady who had him couldn’t take care of him anymore. The sight of a hand reaching towards him (?) puts him into cardiac arrest and with the cage doors wide open he will not come out of the cage. His former owner, when she heard I was having the bird fly around was amazed since he didn’t know how to fly. That’ s when I orderd yur course to help this poor incarcerated bird. I just got it yesterday (the course that is) and will start to use it to calm his fears. So far, I have gotten the bird to sit on my arm and I can take him out of the cage and when he flys and lands, I can put my finger under his chest and he climbs aboard immediately. With your help, I hope I can convince him that I am his friend and not his keeper.

Renee Sinrod
Angie

Love the poem! I have an African Grey, when she is nauty she comes to me and say " Budgie love you"…. thats when I start running thru the house, looking for what is broken and start calling the dogs to see who servive her atack. She dont like her cage, so she lives in the house with us, sometime on the cage, but only if she must…. other wyse she would go to bed with us, and sleep on my pillow at my head. She is only 14 months old!

Angie
Robert Hidalgo

Thank you for these lines, they brought a smile to my face as I recalled my yellow nape parrot chewing on my kitchen cabinets doors, I tried to get mad at him but then he said, Hello Spiky and that was the end of it. Merry Christmas to all. Robert and Spiky.

Robert Hidalgo
Dot Lohnes

verry cute and O so true Dot and Misty is my Umbrella.

Dot Lohnes
Mollie

Dear Chet, Thanks for sharing your poem. It could also relate to two eclectus parrots who wait for me to leave the room before getting into mischief. Was terrified a few weeks ago when I heard an intruder talking in my house at 3am. As I was on my own, I could not decide whether to confront him , turn on a light or make a noise. I decided to use my mobile and call the police. Just as I started dialling, I heard the familiar “Hello Birdbrain” and realised it was my Wally talking in his sleep.

Mollie
Barbara

Dink, Bob and Itsy, Quakers, wish you all a Merry Christmas! Me too, Barbara

Barbara
Sam

Thanks so much chet This really is why people should have pets Merry merry

Sam
Gail

Thanks for the great poem. I have a Quaker and he is a real test of patience. Today, while listening to Christmas Carols, I realized that my Quaker sings Jingle Bells. He was previously owned and came to me singing Happy Birthday but Christmas Carols is quite something. Merry Christmas to all!

Gail
Lynn

As always you come thru with interesting reading and being the owner of too’s, oh so very true. Wishing you and yours a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year.

Lynn
Marcia

I love it the poem is so cute and the Cockatoo is lovely

Marcia
Captain Robert "Tut" Barrett

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all, Captain Tut & Crew :-) :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> Pinellas Suncoast Parrot Sanctuary, Inc. 501©3 non-profit corp. , a retirement home for parrots that some are older and some are disabled but still loved and cared for daily. See our website and donate any help possible if you care for them too, Thank You and Happy Holidays

Captain Robert "Tut" Barrett
pinkie

such a nice poem to read on christmas eve and it sure reminds you to make sure the cages are locked before you go to bed on this night, merry christmas to you all

pinkie
Renee

I love this. I’ve had parrots of all species and if this doesn’t just say it all. I have a goffins, umbrella and molucaan. I sure can relate to the sentiment.

Renee
Sandra Jackson

I have only one Goffin, Charlemagne, but he’s almost as bad as a pair. Can’t help but love them. Adored the poem and really related to it. Thanks!

Sandra Jackson
Rita

haha.. I love it! I have 2 Goffins also.. Very cute..

Rita
Sandra Teager

This is so lovely!!! ?

Sandra Teager
Barbara Cooley

Thank you for sharing the poem. I loved it. You are so right, when you look at those sweet faces nobody could be mad for long at all. I will never understand the people who can hurt them. Merry Christmas. Barb

Barbara Cooley
Mary Arter

thank you I enjoyed it veery much I have to say it remins me of tasua a macaw blue and gold gets into everything . we have a truck that is radio powerd he loves to ride on it . at first I put him on it he got off right now. now he wants to ride everything .all the ridabe toys the cheldrens got . thank you for all the help you have given me Mary ARTER ARTER.MARY@GMAIL.COM

Mary Arter

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