The Night Before Christmas (Cockatoo Style)

This is priceless.  For those of you with cockatoos, especially goffins, the engineering variety of cockatoo, you will treasure this.  Once again, the author is unknown:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The birds were all fed and put out to play,
Everyone was settled – I was done for the day.

When down from the basement there arose such a clatter,
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter.
I raced down the steps and turned down the light,
Glancing first to the left and then to the right.
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot,
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!

The Goffins are missing I yelled to my spouse,
While I shuddered to think what they’d do to the house.
My fears were well founded I soon came to know.
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed,
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy,
which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.

The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess,
This Cockatoo duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound,
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren’t to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring,
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail.
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail.

Holding my breath as I approached with great care,
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed,
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze,
Then the Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet,
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat.
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage,
Don’t you two ever, ever come out of your cage!

They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment,
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment.
I’ll clean up tomorrow.
I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one ‘Too said “bye bye.”
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm,
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm.

For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun,
It was hard to stay angry despite what they’d done.

My jangled nerves and life’s hectic pace,
Had made me forget what was in my face.
I didn’t need gifts, fancy stuff from the store.
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!

My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse,
Everything that mattered was right here in this house.
So Santa I thank you but I don’t need a lot,
I’m learning to be grateful for all that I’ve got.
If you come down my chimney to leave something new,
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the ‘Toos!!

I wish you all the happiest holidays and the brightest new year.

Author Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.

127 comments

Ian Woodburn

Thanks for sharing this, We had a wet Xmas and Oscar enjoyed it but after he got into the treats, I wasn;t quick enough, Ian

Ian Woodburn
Cheryl Cormier and my boy Joey (blue fronted Amazon)

Thank you and God Bless you all for a great Christmas and a Wonderful new year with all your feathered kids and all. Your kids are two beautiful little ones and a treasure in it’s self. Your poem was a delight to read and very well done, and I am happy to send it on to other friends.

Cheryl Cormier and my boy Joey (blue fronted Amazon)
Angela

I had a Yellow Headed Amazon for 48 years.His ashes are in the spare room to be buried or strewn with me when my time comes. Need I say more? I now own a Gold Capped Conure, Rainbow. OMG I am retired and I have broken every animal rule and the baby is oh soooo very spoilt. Sadly I can see the grin as Rainbow schmoozes me through another no, no. The little turd even spends more nights than not sleeping with me in my bed. I am a 4 year recovering cancer patient. Please don’t tell me I will roll over and crush my little bird. I have given that lots of consideration. Fortunately at the moment Rainbow moves away from me when I begin to dose off. When I wake up during the night he is usually at least an arm’s length away from me. I also own a budgie I inherited from another cancer patient as well as my own pussy cat, Samantha, who is now 12 years old. Poor Sammy cat was so relieved to have me to herself when Jackie died, and then within one year I acquired not one, but two birds. She now just rolls her eyes and ignores them all even though she used to go out of her way to attack or harass my Amazon, Jackie. When I am in bed I have Rainbow snuggled beside my legs and Sam snuggled on top of me, kind of watching the movements under the blanket from Rainbow. We all seem to get along just fine. Kind of the ‘agree to disagree syndrome’. Ok, so Rainbow is 1 3/4 years old. He is controlling me even though I try to pretend I am in control. But I have to admit that he “melts everyones shorts” regardless of age and is extremely well behaved with company. He gives kisses, and of course they are french kisses along with a bit of flossing of the teeth. My biggest complaint is his screaming if he isn’t with me. He seems to believe his place in life is on my shoulder. OK, that is enough of ‘our’ background’. Suffice it to say that I truly giggled at your poem. It may be about a cockatoo, however, a bird is a bird, and if it has intelligence, well then, Merry Christmas, and you better have a sense of humour. They are so tiny and hmph, yes those litte creatured do rule, lol. Thanks for sharing.

Angela
Cindy Weisenberg

Verry cute! I used to have a Goffin, I loved her so much! I now have a Lesser Sulphur-Crested and she’s a joy to our family. Thanks for sharing this cute poem.

Cindy Weisenberg
usha

wow the poetry was so amazing .i shared with all my animal lovers friends best christmas present i also sent it to those who dont like me having a mini zoo in the house they all loved it

usha
Robyn

I just loved the poem and smiled throughout as I thought of my obnoxious little birds doing crazy things although not quite like yours. And just like you, i didn’t need anything for Christmas just my happy little flock of birds and my family to keep me content. Merry Christmas.

Robyn
pearl

that was a wonderful story thank you merry christmas and a happy new year

pearl
hOZAIFA HAKIM

tHIS IS VERY NICELY WRITTEN…I LAUGHED OUT THINKING OF MY SULPHUR COCKATOO I HAVE JUST 1 BIRD NAMED SUZZY AND EVEN SHE IS AS MISCHEVIOUS…..

hOZAIFA HAKIM
rita dolman

ha ha ha this is great. sounds just like my bird, TAZ.i love it. happy hollidays. thanks.

rita dolman
Masrurul

Peace and blessing of God on all of you.

Masrurul
Rocky Mountian Bird Farm & Pet Supply

I have been there and experienced that, just as the poem states, I also felt the same in the end. A good laugh and fond memories of our mischeivious pet Goffin “Tiny” . Thanks for the holiday cheer! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Rocky Mountian Bird Farm & Pet Supply
mariam Joann August

SO TRUE SO TRUE and sweetly nice

mariam Joann August
jeff

my 22yr old yellow nape colors are not as bright as they used to be, some of his green feathers have no color at all do I have to change his diet. I just adoped another 22yr old yellow nape and the colors are normal.

jeff
Katy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!         =D

AWWWWWW! cuteeee!!!

Katy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
Linda Fisher

thank you so much for sharing this!! It should make all bird lovers remember something that has surprised them at some time. My Sidney has surprised me many times with things hes learded from friends who’ve came to the house.

Linda Fisher
Charna Kinneberg

As a proud owner of 2 toos, I do so relate to the chaos these birds can create and the sweet balm of ‘I love you!’ after the storm. There is nothing like being owned by a Wack-a-do (aka M2). My dear Buddy drinks out of soft drink bottles, tosses various objects around with his beak, dances with abandon, makes tooth picks out of boards. He bounces across the room when put on the floor. He has destroyed my clothes hamper, stolen the wood plugs off my stairs and wrecked countless chairs and heaven only knows what he did with those round things from the toilet. The new leather couch was subject to his tailoring. He and my husband routinely have screaming matches. (husband loses) He is a rescue. He came complete with a foul mouth which ended my pre-teen daughter’s hormonal tantrum (Mommy! Did he just say what I think he said? You bet!). He has destroyed his play gym. We have clamps all over his cage since he is capable of unscrewing virtually everything. But… there is the soft ‘Hugs and Kisses’ and ‘I love you!’. As for Princess – my pre-teen daughter and her are glued together. She’s a U2, also a rescue. After we had her for a week, she informed us her name was Princess! It’s amazing to watch the two of them. I love the poem. Anyone who has been near a cockatoo knows it is all very possible. Happy holidays everyone.

Charna Kinneberg
Ann

Love the poem! I have a blue and gold macaw, and I could see her doing exactly what was said in the poem. When I fold our socks, she things she has to help too, but instead of putting the socks in the basket, my floor is covered in folded socks that Cookie throws out of the basket. I can’t help but laugh at her. Have a great Christmas and best wishes in the new year.

Ann
Donna Y Johnson

Delightful. A wonderfully cheerful piece for Christmas Eve! I have a Rose Breast, and she would have been right in the middle of the mess! Toos are pure delight with a bit of frustration mixed in. My Rosie can tear a hole in something then look at me and say, “I love you.” what are you going to do?

Donna Y Johnson
Beverly Morlan

Very cute and so true. I had to replace my air cond cord this last spring and guess what just descovered that no matter how careful I was to not put anyone close to it this year and my too just got it again the other day and so guess what I am doing next spring again.

Beverly Morlan
Susan in NW Montana

Very cute and thank you for sharing this. I don’t have a “too” but my Eclectus is my prized possession. She, too, has been known to get into trouble if left unchecked.

Susan in NW Montana
Carson

Loved the Poem….thanks for sending. Also let me take this opportunity in wishing you and your family ( including the feathered ones) a Very Merry Christmas

Carson
guylaine

I just read this to my children and we laughed and enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing!

guylaine
William Stow

Thank you had a laugh out of it ho ho & merry Christmas

William Stow
Nela Odarijew

I loved it. just like my blue fronted amazon. What can you do? Love them! Merry Christmas :)

Nela Odarijew
Maria

ahh

Maria

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