The Night Before Christmas (Cockatoo Style)

This is priceless.  For those of you with cockatoos, especially goffins, the engineering variety of cockatoo, you will treasure this.  Once again, the author is unknown:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The birds were all fed and put out to play,
Everyone was settled – I was done for the day.

When down from the basement there arose such a clatter,
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter.
I raced down the steps and turned down the light,
Glancing first to the left and then to the right.
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot,
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!

The Goffins are missing I yelled to my spouse,
While I shuddered to think what they’d do to the house.
My fears were well founded I soon came to know.
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed,
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy,
which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.

The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess,
This Cockatoo duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound,
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren’t to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring,
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail.
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail.

Holding my breath as I approached with great care,
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed,
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze,
Then the Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet,
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat.
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage,
Don’t you two ever, ever come out of your cage!

They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment,
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment.
I’ll clean up tomorrow.
I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one ‘Too said “bye bye.”
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm,
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm.

For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun,
It was hard to stay angry despite what they’d done.

My jangled nerves and life’s hectic pace,
Had made me forget what was in my face.
I didn’t need gifts, fancy stuff from the store.
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!

My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse,
Everything that mattered was right here in this house.
So Santa I thank you but I don’t need a lot,
I’m learning to be grateful for all that I’ve got.
If you come down my chimney to leave something new,
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the ‘Toos!!

I wish you all the happiest holidays and the brightest new year.

Author Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.

126 comments

Beverly Berkowitz

I have a young grey, his size a surprise. My other grey is half of his size. I heard a rumour of a “Camaroon” gray, and if this is true, his size is OK. I tried to find fine out about his Mom & his Dad. But at the shop that I got him, their knowledge was bad. Chad is a quick learner, He talks & plays games. He just loves to cuddle, really is tame. When we put out the lights, we double lock Chad’s cage. so he’ll be alright. No magic to stage. So we’ll put up our socks the same as the toos’, & hope that Santa will bring us extra padlocks too. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Beverly Berkowitz
Janifer M

I laughed so hard when i read this. I own a Goffins and i can totally relate to EVERYTHING that poem said! I can see the “busted” look, and him retreating..haha. Thanks for the laugh!

Janifer M
Valerie

I loved this, my friend had an aviary and I have seen what these guys can get into. What a good story.

Valerie
Cheryl Nashville, TN

I loved it.

Cheryl Nashville, TN
JUDY R

I LOVE IT !!!!!

JUDY R
Abigail Mae

that was soo cute i was smiling the whole time i read this:)

Abigail Mae
susan love

Oh, so true! This poem fits my Toos to a “T”. I have two bare-eyed, one sulfer crest and one moluccan and they are all padlocked! My one sulfer crest, Niko, is now taking his cage apart one bar at a time…no idea what to do next…any suggestions out there??

susan love
Dawn

That was wonderful,really made me laugh. Thanks

Dawn
sunconures

i have one sun conure and i read this poem to my children and we laught out laud as we shared some memories of our bird doing something like that to our home so funny!!!!!!!

sunconures
Barbara Martin

Thank you and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Barbara Martin
cindy vancamp

Thank you soooo much for sharing

cindy vancamp
jamie

i just got back from a trip to new sudbary and i read it to my family once i got home and we all thought it was funny and cute since i have 2 cockatoo’s and they too say bye bye once i leave the room thanks for the poem!!! happy new year

jamie
Jim Holley

That pretty much fits the umbrellas as well.

Jim Holley
simone

oh thats so cute i have two cockatiels i laughed when i read your poem!!!!!!!!! lol

simone
Becky, Cesar and Tito

I love this one-I have a Lesser that I rescued and have had a few things around the house get some bites-then I hear a ‘hey baby’ and it all seems to go away! Awhhh the ‘Toos’ gotta love ’em!!!!

Becky, Cesar and Tito
Sumatee

Thanks for the poem Chet Womach and Family. It is very amusing considering that I also experience a similar thing with one of my birds pulling the hook of her cage and letting the others out when I am not looking. She appears to be very scheming but she is very lovable. She imitates my laugh. All the best for the new year. Sumatee

Sumatee
Katz

This poem is my life. Our farm is “All Creatures Welcome”. Our parrots,(we have 3) are always doing fun and mischievious things. Are chickens, and geese are always pecking at the door to come in. The Goats lay by the door waiting to come in an lay on the couch. Kids let them in an found them relaxing and watching tv. Mini Donkeys My Jack, will lay on me it I let him. Horses they all are in the middle of everything when working out side. Dogs Want to ride on all the farm equipment. Cats (to many to count) Follow us to and from. Becuase we have a big red barn we get alot of unwanted felines. We take in stride and give them a home till they die of old age. We rescue abandoned or unwanted animals. This poem, is a nice reminder of all we have surrounded ourselves with. We have more love and loyality from our animals in one day then most people get in a life time. I’m so glad they are with us. Thank You for shareing this poem!

Katz
Vanessa

That was cute! Have a Happy New Year!

Vanessa
CAROLYN

THAT WAS REALLY CUTE , I HAVE ONLY 1 TOO, BUT ALSO A AMAZON PARROT AND AN NANDAY CONURE.AND THEY ARE ALL MESSES IN THEM SELVES BUT ALL 3 TOGETHER A CONTASTROPHY. SO I DO KNOW WHAT KIND OF DAMAGE 2 COULD DO.BUT AGAIN HOW CAN YOU STAY MAD AFTER ALL THEY ARE OUR BABIES.THANKS FOR THE POEM IT IS GREAT. HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

CAROLYN
Marlene

I can relate to the mess the Goffins made. I am fortunate, my African grey warns me when he is going to be naughty. He says: “help, help. Tokkelos gaan stout wees” which means, help, help Tokkelos is going to be naughty. If he does not get attention immediately, he makes a mess or makes a hell of a noise. And then he tell you: “Tokkelos loves you very,very,very much.” And then, you give him a kiss and cleans up the mess.

Marlene
Leslie

They r nuts I have 5 umbrella’s and 2 molucans. I don’t know how the one enven gets out with the chains and locks on.

Leslie
tatum  H.

soo cute!!8)

tatum H.
Ann King

Hi Guys, That was so cute, It sounds like my 2 umbrella cockatoos, No one will stay long in my house brecause the birds scream so loud, but I love them so much. if I let them out they would tear my house up too. It is a love,hate relationship! Happy New Year, Ann

Ann King
Kevin Priest

GREAT STORY!! I LOVED IT!! FROM ONE BIRD OWNER TO ANOTHER.

Kevin Priest
LeNordais

Smart birds!! I once came back from work and my Macaw was missing, cage door opened. She was hiding behing a chair. No damage done though. Door and food access are now double locked.

LeNordais

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